


I'll Still Have Me

by TechnobIade



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: All I have to offer is Pain, Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Pain, Romance, Songfic, happy valentine's day, monarchs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 23:21:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29426625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TechnobIade/pseuds/TechnobIade
Summary: Beyond the anarchist's usual reasoning of having style, why does he exactly wear a royalty's attire? Was the constant betrayal against him the only cause of his fear in building friendships?Inspired by CYN's I'll Still Have Me.
Relationships: Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF) & Original Female Character(s), Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 4





	I'll Still Have Me

Sun smiled down the earth as the half-piglin shielded his eyes from its blinding glory. With his folded red royal cloak hanging onto his other arm, he walked across the grass fields as sharp thorns of flowers prickled through his covered legs. For a man such as himself, he found the comforting satisfaction of growing roses — it was as if he was tending for another person. Getting poked by thorns was painful, but there is nothing more painful than what he had gone through.

Today, he is not the mighty Technoblade — but Ecgtheow.

Memories suddenly rolled back to into his head, remembering the first time he met the Princess.

Couples were waltzing across the hall as other masked men and women of nobility enjoying the ball. He was not big on social events at all, and he would not have responded to the invitation and come if he did not get dragged by his insufferable comrade-in-arms to come along. Like a phantom in the night, he slipped out of the masquerade. Away from the crowd, at last, he could not bear the noise and the awkward pain of having a small talk with a bunch of strangers.

Such an odd man he is — he had carried a knapsack of his valuables to the palace and kept it hidden in where he was at the moment. A single brush of his hand away to the bush, he found his knapsack and held it close to himself. Searching a good place to wait at until the party was over, he passed through a fountain where the water showed his reflection. Droplets of water hindered him from seeing himself, but it was enough to be able to at least have an idea what he looks like. His jerkin was undone so he could freely move — he was not used to wearing formal outfits, and the hair ribbon on his long braid seemed to have unfastened itself, strands of his pink hair hanging itselves loose.

After a minute, he finally found somewhere he could pass the time at. He climbed up and sat on a marble fence and from his knapsack, he took out a book he had been trying to finish for the past few days. Under the moon he read, until a voice of a female disrupted his tranquility.

“Was the ball not enjoyable as I expected it to be?” Asked a lady wearing a red gown and a tiara decorated with precious clear gemstones over her blonde hair. She was undeniably beautiful. Her freckles was noticeable despite the night, and her blue eyes shone brightly.

Must be the daughter of the King herself, he thought. As he immediately assumed it was the Princess, he instinctively fixed his posture and stood up. A bow was done out of respect after he fixed his jerkin to look presentable. “Forgive me, I simply don't know most of the attendees and I would like to be in peace. I'm just waiting for a friend so I could fetch him home in case he's too intoxicated to be on his own.”

A sweet smile was flashed towards him, a hand gracefully in motion to dismiss his apology. “Oh no, please — I do not want to be in there as well myself.”

His long pointed ears twitched upon seeing the smile of the Princess. Introductories were made as soon as the Princess was assisted by Ecgtheow to the fence.

“Ecgtheow, huh. Outlandish.” The Princess, whose name was Luna, commented on his name — his patience was long enough for the night to not shoot her a deathly glare like he normally would. She took notice of his quick response, making her cover her mouth to laugh. “I meant to say it is very unique. A name I've never heard before.”

The Princess and the brute warrior spent time together discussing the books they have read in the past. Ecgtheow was pleased to have a conversation with someone who shared his interests, but he can't help getting distracted by how her lips moved; how her eyelids fold themselves with such grace; how her eyes outshines the moonlight. If the moon found out about the gazes Ecgtheow had for the Princess, she would be jealous of her beauty.

In her tone, it was obvious how frustrated she was — Princess Luna had told him about the point of the on-going masquerade. “I do not enjoy the party, not at all. This was all arranged with political motivation, and the least I could say is my own very name is involved to why this is all happening.”

Unsure how to react to her rant, he just slowly nodded at her as he awaited for her to continue — he was willing to listen despite his usual disinterest in anyone, she was a delight. The two shared a look for some time, as the Princess knew she had to restrict herself from sharing further. Her eyes rolled over, making him chuckle. The Princess was not like other royalties he met before — she was laid-back, and was very generous to offer friendship for a simple man like him. He owns a title and held quite a status even for someone who isn't a native nor a local to the kingdom, but he was not noble enough to be near her.

The pair called it a night as soon as Ecgtheow's drunk companion finally made an appearance who sat on a bench nearby the fountain. Adieus were bid — Ecgtheow ended the exchange with a remark to Princess Luna as he wore a smile that fully exposed his tusks, “I hope to see you soon somewhere in the future. I don't think I will ever find another company as fine as yours.”

Months passed by, and their bond escalated. It was the Princess who kept on inviting Ecgtheow to the palace to obligate him to share the tales of his adventures. Sending letters was once suggested, but she preferred to personally listen to him. Ecgtheow did not mind it, as what he initially said was true: being her company was a delight. After a hard day's work, he did not even mind coming over to meet her briefly. Strangely, to him, his exhaustion fades away whenever he sees her flash a smile.

Coming to terms with his emotions was difficult. He did not understand the sensation he feels inside his chest and his stomach in Luna's presence. Each day that passes by, it was getting harder to ignore. Eloquent with his speech, he sometimes find himself getting his tongue tangled into knots when speaking to her. He might have had an idea what this could be, but he made the choice to pretend nothing is ever happening to his thoughts, even if it troubles him greatly.

He was a mere dust in the universe, compared to Luna.

Not knowing where to stand, he settled with being contented he has Luna to be his friend. He did not have many as most people are only talking to him regarding business, and would not risk to taint their friendship.

Everything went alright until the day Luna broke out the news that her father is sending her off to another kingdom to marry her off to a prince. The arrangement was all political, of course. If she were to marry a nobleman of such status, their kingdom would be stronger as the king established a connection between the land he reigns on and to the Princess's would-be place of residence. He understood this well, and it took him a moment to rationalize with the heartbreak he felt.

It wasn't just him who was heartbroken.

Pleading to help her do something about the upcoming marriage, Princess Luna grabbed his hand with tears started to fall to her cheeks. Her voice was breaking, “...it would mean I will not be allowed to see you.” Everyone was well-aware of the relation they had, but he paid no close attention to the word that goes around that they are lovers in secret because he knew himself that they were nothing but rumors.

He came up with a possible solution to offer his servitude as her personal manservant, only to get told that it would be her soon-to-be husband's choice who to appoint for the position. The Princess said that she had thought of the same thing, but the father of the prince knew about him and explicitly expressed he would like to keep her away from him to refrain from rumors of infidelity.

Blood boiled upon hearing the Luna's explanation, but it appears there is nothing he could do. While it was true that he would go to the ends of the world for her to prove his loyalty to her, he was not ready to gamble his life for an alternate solution he could think of: run away with her. If he wanted to show loyalty, he'd want to live and watch over her. Living is harder than dying.

Helpless, Princess Luna had to oblige upon the ~~marital~~ political arrangement made for her despite the constant protest she made.

The only way the pair communicated was through intercepted letters. An invasion was soon to happen in the kingdom of Luna's husband, and he was worried about her safety. She had written him back that he need not to worry anyway, as she is taken well-care of within the walls of her husband.

Ecgtheow knew that was a lie. Even in his indifference in the world of monarchs and rulers, he was kept up to date with how things are going. There was no way in oblivion he wouldn't come after her to at least know what is truly going on. For miles, he traveled to where Luna was. He possessed no mastery in disguise, but he did his best to stealthily get inside the kingdom and set his ears close.

The word among the locals in the marketplace that there would be canons from he opposition, and the kingdom did not have enough funds to keep themselves guarded. As soon as he heard about it, loud explosions started to ring in his ears, prompting him to immediately sneak to the court of Luna's current residence in hopes of getting to rescue her while the men of arms are busy defending the walls that protect them from all sorts of danger. He was confident enough in his set of skills that he could save Luna.

Hoping luck would lay a finger on him, he aimlessly wandered around the palace. There were not enough men inside that he let himself be less alert and focus on finding Luna as soon as he can to get her out of the crossfire. An agonizing scream was heard by the half-piglin, which made him rush to the sound as fast as how his heart beat.

To Ecgtheow's fear, a pool of scarlet was spilled on the floor as the shadowed perpetrator jumped out a window. To whom the ichor belonged to was the crowned Queen of the kingdom — Luna herself. A quick decision-making was made: to go after the assassin or to be in Luna's aid?

The latter.

Scooping the lady into his arms, he tried comforting her briefly before getting to applying pressure to her stab wound. There was an attempt to stop the Queen from bleeding, but it was no use. The smooth porcelain skin of Luna is starting to be pale, as her once bright blue eyes started to decolour — the life draining away from her lungs.

With all the might she has left, she managed to extend the corners of her lips as a hand reached for Ecgtheow’s face. “It’s nice to see you again.” Weakly, she voiced out as she softly caressed his face.

Distressed, he did not respond to her as he kept tearing fabrics from her clothing to cover her injury. But the pace of her bleeding was too quick, and the wound was too deep — even Luna herself knew all hope was lost. Her other hand tried to remove his hands away from her stomach to make him pay attention to her and give her mercy to have a fast and less painful death.

“I will not let this be the last time I see you.” Ecgtheow finally said with a stern tone, repressing the forming tears in his eyes.

Not a single word uttered, Luna held both of his hands to calm him down. Her eyelids folded, but she was still breathing. All the chaos was still happening outside the walls, but there was no one to guard her as all her soldiers made their way to be of defense. She was going to die, and she was ready to embrace death.

Scooping the dying into his arms, he tossed the Queen’s crown off to his side. The sound of the cannons being shot through the walls did not bother him, all he cared about was holding Luna until her last breath.

And so he did.

Today, he is not the mighty Technoblade — but Ecgtheow.

As it should be, the voices weren't a bother on this very day. He was fortunate to be given a day of rest, or so he would like to think that way.

The crown of the Queen who passed rested over his head. Reminiscing the moments they shared together brought a small smile to his lips as he took the crown off. Light reflected on the golden crown ornamented with rubies as he pondered before a memorial for an old friend he built himself.

Not enough time was graced to the both of them, and there were so many things left unsaid. It was not enough. Perhaps in the next lifetime, they would meet again. Perhaps, he might be able to brave whatever the circumstances may be to admit he indeed fell in love.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Valentine's day. Woke up with CYN's song "I'll Still Have Me" playing in my head. Then chose literary violence.  
> ⠀⠀⠀  
> Honestly, I've been wanting to provide a headcanon why Technoblade wears a royal gown despite being an anarchist, another reason why he despises any form of government so much, and why he is afraid of being friends with someone. He's also very sentimental alright, he would pay homage to anyone he treasures.
> 
> If you already saw this on my roleplay account, no, you do not know me at all <3


End file.
